Referral anniversary

A year ago today, Scott and I got the call that we had been waiting for since July of 2008.  We got the call to consider whether a ten-month-old boy named Abel might be the son God had chosen for us.  (To see the post from one year ago, click Our long-awaited referral.)

This was the note I wrote as they told us about him over the phone.

And this was his picture that we cried over, knowing that, of course, he was our child.

My Bible study has asked me to give my testimony about God's work in bringing Abel to us.  When I was recovering last week, I typed up my summary of God's work over the last year to share with them and with you... 

Last year, I joyously shared with you all the picture of our son who was waiting for us in Ethiopia.  I explained that all we needed was have our papers pass the Ethiopian court, and he would be declared ours forever…

Little did I realize that my time of waiting was far from over.

Our agency told us who our son was on January 25 last year.  They said that our case should pass the Ethiopian courts about six weeks after that, and then we should be on our way to Ethiopia in around May.

Week after week passed, and all we had were a few pictures of our son, but no date when our case would make it to the Ethiopian courts.  Through our agency’s email list, we heard that the other families who received word who their children were on the same day we did already had their court dates and were making plans to bring home their children.

As Abraham had to face losing Isaac to show God that his heart was wholly God’s, I had to face losing son.  My biggest fear kept calling from the farthest corners of my doubt:  What if we are not allowed to bring our son home??

That one fear wouldn't leave me alone.  It followed me into all of my other activities.  What if you can't bring your son home?  What if you can't bring your son home??

One night, I just wanted to go to sleep to make the worry stop -- at least for a few hours.  But I knew better.  I knew what I really needed.

Finally, I opened the Bible to read my Year Through the Bible section.  How appropriate: I was in the book of Job.  Through His Word, I heard God asking me:  "Do you trust Me?"  

And the conversation went something like this: "Do I trust You?  Yes."  

"Even if you cannot bring your son home?"  

"Even if I can't bring my son home -- ever??...  Yes.  Even if I cannot bring my son home ever, I trust You."

"Then wait in trust," He said.

I did not realize then all that that would mean for the coming months.

Finally, we were told that we had a court date – April 19.  I prayed night and day that our case would pass that day.  But then the day before our court date, I felt God nudge my spirit that this was not our time.  And the morning of the court date, as I waited to hear from our agency if our son was declared ours, I read Psalm 27.  And God let me know that the words were His message to me…

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed

that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait (in faith) on the Lord; be of good courage,

and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!

And so, as we received word that morning that the Ethiopian courts had not even gotten to our case, I clung to His Word.  I would not lose heart, because I believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

But, my heart was so sad.  I so longed to hold my boy.  And month by month, I saw him grow up before my very eyes – but only in pictures.  He was learning to walk, but not by holding my hands.  He was falling asleep, but not in my arms.

We were given a second court date of April 29.  The night before this one, we read to our daughter from her Bible.  The section was about how God works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).  To give her a practical example, I explained how even though we didn't pass court the first time, God was still working for our good.  The accompanying song was in my head all night, as I tossed and turned and prayed for our court date.  "Don't you know that in all things, God works for our good...?"

On April 29, we got word about our court date.  We did not pass.  There were papers that the birth relative should have brought and did not.

But God blessed me with His sweet timing.  Instead of being alone to wallow in my sadness, this time, I was at my Bible study, surrounded by ladies who have been praying with us for months.  The first hug I received after getting the disappointing news was from a woman who tried to adopt many years ago, but the cases always fell through.  And so, when she wrapped her arms around me, and said, "I know.  I know how it feels," she truly did.  From there, I went from one set of arms to another.

So we waited.  Our third court date was May 17 – the time we were originally supposed to be bringing our son home.  And this time, we saw the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Our son, Abel Mindaye, was declared ours forever.

The next month sped past as we made preparations to travel to Ethiopia to bring our son home.  As we arrived at the airport in Ethiopia on June 20, we were amazed when our translator asked us if we wanted to go pick up our son first thing.  Of course, we exclaimed that we did.  And so it was on Father’s Day that we got to meet Abel. 

We spent a week in Ethiopia showing him our love.  We had so many friends back home praying that he would bond and attach with us quickly.  When, at the end of our week in Ethiopia, we returned to the house where he had waited for us for five months, and he wanted to come back to my husband and me instead of staying with his nannies, we knew that God had been answering so many prayers about him attaching to us.

And when we got home, and Adrianna, our five-year-old daughter, wanted to sleep in his room at night, because he was lonely, and we could hear her saying through the monitor, “Don’t cry, Abel, I’m here,” we knew God was answering more prayers.

God has allowed Abel to mold right into our family.  In fact, it seems that he has always been with us.  God choose the perfect child to fill the hole in our family… We didn’t realize that we had an Abel-shaped hole in our family until he filled it.

And in His mercy, all the waiting has melted away.  And God has redeemed the precious 15 months of Abel’s life that I missed out on.  Every day at his nap time, Abel curls up in my arms, and I get to hold the little boy that God chose for me as he falls asleep.

As he grows, I will be able to tell him that God chose him just for our family.  And though we do not know all the reasons why our case was so delayed, we know that God was working all things together for our good, because we love Him.