Our long awaited referral... Our boy

In the language of "adoption pregnancy," adoptive parents love to tell the story of getting their referrals. Without the landmarks of usual pregnancies, it is a lovely step of importance -- akin to getting to see an unborn baby's first ultra-sound images. With a referral, as with an ultrasound, you finally have verification that the child you have been waiting for is truly there.

And so, I would like to tell the tale of our referral...

I guess, for me, this day began months ago. We officially became waiting parents last February 6, 2009 -- a day that is easy to remember, as it falls one before my birthday. Within weeks of that time, I began longing for our referral. Even by March, I started hoping that the phone would ring with news of our child. Alas, we began to see that the average length of time families were waiting was around 11 months. And yet, with each phone call, I had a split-second of anticipation, wondering if it was the news we longed for.

As our eleventh month of waiting came, the longing became greater. I had regular dreams about our referral. Usually I dreamed of being told about a little girl waiting for us -- with different names and traits in the different dreams.

Today started out as a strange sort of day. Scott, Adrianna, and I had all been awake from around 1:00-3:00 a.m., because Adrianna's coughing was so severe. Yesterday, Scott decided to stay home today, feeling the effects of the virus Adrianna has had spreading to him. So, leaving Scott at home to rest, I took Adrianna to an appointment to see the doctor this morning.

We waited for forty-five minutes at the doctor's office before finally hearing the telling knock on the sick room door. Right as the knock sounded, my cell phone rang. And of course, for that second, I wondered again if it was our referral. I checked to see that the caller was Scott and quickly silenced my phone.

Twenty minutes later, with Adrianna's virus confirmed as such, I headed back to the car, and returned Scott's call. I apprised him of the doctor's comments, and he sneakily said, "Well, you'll want to come home now."

"What? Why??"

"Ashley called. We need to call her back when you get home."

"WHAT?!? Our referral??"

"Yes!" replied Scott, sounding much calmer than I did.

"Well, I wondered when I saw you call!"

"Yeah, I told her to wait to tell me until you got home."

"I never could have done that! I would have just had her tell me!" (Yet another way Scott and I are different!)

Two minutes later, when I arrived home, with trembling hands, I dialed the number Scott had jotted down on a sticky note.

"CHI, this is Ashley."

"Hi... It's the Wallins."

"Hi Wallins! I bet you want to hear about your referral?"

"YES!"

And so Ashley at Children's Hope International told us the words we have yearned to hear since we started our journey 18 months ago...

"We have a boy..."

I cannot yet share details on our beautiful child. Ethiopia forbids electric transfer of information until the child is actually declared ours by their courts. But I can say that we have his picture. He is adorable. And he will be around one year old when we bring him home, Lord-willing sometime in or around May.

As is His way, the Lord blessed us with such perfect timing for our referral. On most other weekdays, Scott and I would not be able to hear our news together. I would have been longing to hug him in congratulations if he had been at work today. As it was, we were blessed to hang up our phones and turn to each other's arms and cry happy tears.

And, as Scott points out, he was so glad to be able to be here for Adrianna, while I excitedly called up friends and family, letting them know of our referral. Since Scott was here, he was able to let Adrianna know she could share her feelings and fears, and that just because there is going to be a new brother, she does not have to feel ignored.