Trip journal - Day 6

Friday, June 25, 2010, 8:12 pm

Birth parent meeting was today.  We all went into it with mixed emotions:  nervousness, curiosity, fear, sadness for the birth parents...

We were all ready 20 minutes before Ficker was scheduled to arrive, and we hauled our orphanage donations out into the courtyard, and then waited anxiously.  When it started raining, everyone jumped to get the donations inside, where we all crammed into the tiny entry by the stairs, waiting with even more anxiety.

Ficker brought a woman with him, and there was confusion over whether she would watch our kids while we were away?  No, one of the housekeepers would.  The woman he brought was a translator.  The housekeeper came out of the kitchen to take the kids -- she was suddenly holding a screaming child, a nervous Abel, and herding two older kids into the dining room.  It looked a little intense to me, but all I could do was tell Abel, "Ciao," and leave her to care for our boy.

We drove through the well-to-do area of Addis -- huge, walled properties with manicured landscapes, wider streets; we got a few peeks at the more elegant housing.  And then we came to Bethzatha orphanage (where Abel stayed for the month of January) -- and it was right in that neighborhood!  We were amazed at the location, and amazed again at what lay before us when the guards opened the gate.  Lush paradise.  The property overflowed with greenery in a gorgeous garden on the left, and on the right, were pieces of play group equipment.  A merry-go-round rested amidst more greenery.

There were two large buildings on the property.  One of the directors led us into one building for our birth parent meetings.  It was positively pristine.  Polished wood floors, not a speck of dust or a scuffed wall in sight.  We sat in a big room with the other families for just a minute, before we heard, "Abel's family?"  We said, "Yes?" and were completely enraptured with meeting Abel's birth father.  For the next twenty minutes, I have no idea what happened to the other families with their meetings.  All I could focus on what how important it was to talk to Abel's birth father and gather all the information I could while I had a chance.

Abel's birth father and Ficker joined us in one corner of the room, those two sharing a smallish children's bench before us.  We started by giving his birth father the photo album we assembled with pictures of us, Adrianna, and pictures we had received of Abel.  He seemed very appreciative, with smiles, head bows, and repeating the Amharic word for, "It's good.  It's good."  The remainder of the conversation, he held the album thoughtfully in his lap.

For the sake of privacy, I will not share details of our conversation.  I will say that Abel's birth father is a handsome man, full of dignity.   When we asked to know how he wanted Abel to be raised, he said, "In the same way you raise your daughter."  (He pointed to the album.)  "With love."

We left with three pictures of us with him, a tracing of his hand, and a note in his own writing for Abel.  And we left with a profound sense of his love for Abel.

We then toured Bethzatha, and saw where Abel had slept while there.  The director even knew, "He was in this crib -- only it was on this side of the room then."  We were again impressed with the cleanliness and wonderful staff.  If a child needs to be in an orphanage, that is a wonderful one to be in.

We all left, emotionally spent, but grateful to the core.

We arrived back at the guest house to our little boy, who was longing to see us.  In her broken English, the housekeeper said, "He was crying, 'Ma-ma-me!'"  We took him and clung to him as he clung to us.  He whimpered as he calmed himself down, reassuring himself that we were back to stay.

After nap time, we went to the House of Hope to take pictures for other families still waiting to pick up their children.  As soon as we opened the van door when we arrived, the staff swarmed Abel, giving hugs and kisses.  His smiles revealed who were his favorites! Abel especially lit up for the security guard's affection.  And then he turned to come back to me -- Mom. That felt so good. He liked them, but he wanted me.

We had hopes to get good pictures for the waiting families, but with everyone crowding in the same room and flashing, it was harder than we expected.

Abel clung to us while we were there, but relaxed the longer we stayed.  As the nannies crowded him again before we left, I could see their sadness in letting him go.  This time, I got to thank two of them.

Scott and I both noticed how Abel turned giddy as we pulled back onto the streets of Addis.  It seemed exactly as if he were saying, "I get to stay with you!"