Not yet
We did not pass court today. And it feels even more devastating than last Monday (our first court date). This time, court was held, our case came up, and two papers (not from us) were not there. And so we could not pass. And they assigned us the next available court date for our third try: May 17. Another 18 days.
As you may have guessed, our hearts are breaking. They break for us, but more for our boy -- who waits and waits, not knowing what he is waiting for. He hasn't even been allowed to see what we sent to him three months ago: the stuffed dog and photo book of us holding his picture. You see, they will not give those to him until after we pass court.
Last week, after we didn't pass, our small group leader reminded us that we can and need to praise God even for not passing court. I finally mustered the strength to thank God (and mean it!) for not passing court the first time. I am still working on being able to thank God for not passing court a second time. I trust that He will be bring to that place.
God blessed me with His sweet timing today. Instead of being alone to wallow in my sadness, this morning, I was at Community Bible Study, surrounded by ladies who have been praying with us for months. The first hug I received after getting the disappointing news was from a dear woman, who tried to adopt many years ago, but the cases always fell through. And so, when she wrapped her arms around me, and said, "I know. I know how it feels," she truly did. From there, I went from one set of arms to another. Praise God.
You know how last time, God prepared me by giving me Psalm 27:13,14 the morning of our disappointment? Well, I knew something was coming again, when last night we read Adrianna's Bible. The section was about how God works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). To give her a practical example, I explained how even though we didn't pass court the first time, God was still working for our good. The accompanying song was in my head all night, as I tossed and turned and prayed for our court date. "Don't you know that in all things, God works for our good...?"
And so we will make our box of brownies this afternoon -- the ones that Adrianna picked out at the grocery store to celebrate this day. We may not be celebrating what we wanted to celebrate (our dear boy officially being ours forever), but we will celebrate that no matter what, God is working for our good.
As you may have guessed, our hearts are breaking. They break for us, but more for our boy -- who waits and waits, not knowing what he is waiting for. He hasn't even been allowed to see what we sent to him three months ago: the stuffed dog and photo book of us holding his picture. You see, they will not give those to him until after we pass court.
Last week, after we didn't pass, our small group leader reminded us that we can and need to praise God even for not passing court. I finally mustered the strength to thank God (and mean it!) for not passing court the first time. I am still working on being able to thank God for not passing court a second time. I trust that He will be bring to that place.
God blessed me with His sweet timing today. Instead of being alone to wallow in my sadness, this morning, I was at Community Bible Study, surrounded by ladies who have been praying with us for months. The first hug I received after getting the disappointing news was from a dear woman, who tried to adopt many years ago, but the cases always fell through. And so, when she wrapped her arms around me, and said, "I know. I know how it feels," she truly did. From there, I went from one set of arms to another. Praise God.
You know how last time, God prepared me by giving me Psalm 27:13,14 the morning of our disappointment? Well, I knew something was coming again, when last night we read Adrianna's Bible. The section was about how God works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). To give her a practical example, I explained how even though we didn't pass court the first time, God was still working for our good. The accompanying song was in my head all night, as I tossed and turned and prayed for our court date. "Don't you know that in all things, God works for our good...?"
And so we will make our box of brownies this afternoon -- the ones that Adrianna picked out at the grocery store to celebrate this day. We may not be celebrating what we wanted to celebrate (our dear boy officially being ours forever), but we will celebrate that no matter what, God is working for our good.
Comments
I'm sad to read this news, but you are right, God has a plan that will make things work for the better. Blessings for you guys!!!
I am so sorry.
The only thing I can draw from our experience is our babies lost through miscarriage. I still can not praise the Lord for these losses, but I have worked up to being able to thank Him that He knows what's best for us and will stay true to His promises to us, even when it does not seem so.
Hang in there, precious sister. My heart is broken for you.