The new kid experiment, part 5
Well, today officially marks one week since we began our parenting "experiment." An update is definitely in order. Do we have our new kid? :)
Yesterday went quite smoothly. In the morning rush to get out the door, I asked Adrianna to do several things (brush her teeth, get on her shoes, etc.). In the past, those rushed orders were repeated and repeated until we finally got out the door. This time, I think I asked for each task only once, and she did exactly as she was told. When we got in the car and I began driving, I said, "Adrianna, you did such a good job doing all the things I asked you to do." I glanced back at her. She was grinning hugely.
Our day went cooperatively until, of course, dinner time. Adrianna took a bath before dinner. When Scott went in to supervise her cleaning up her tub toys and getting into her pajamas, she started loosing control of herself. From the kitchen, I could hear her screams and protests. Scott was trying to help Adrianna clean up the toys, and she was getting particular about the order she wanted it done. I went to check on them. Scott and I quickly decided to simply leave and start dishing up our dinner.
A naked, dripping little Adrianna came rushing out to catch us in the kitchen. "I want dinner, too!" "Sure. You can eat when you put away your toys and get your pajamas on." (Sounded like a replay of Friday night.) Scott and I sat down to eat. Adrianna, still naked and now getting cold, climbed up into my lap. I allowed her to sit there a minute, without giving her any words. She tried protesting about not wanting to put lotion on before getting dressed (I had left the lotion bottle with her pajamas). "Honey, all I need you to do is clean up the toys and put on your pajamas." (Was I repeating an instruction? Maybe. But I was also trying to let her know she did not need the lotion.)
She seemed to think about that just for a second. Then she skitterred off to the bathroom, and we heard toys clunking away. A few minutes later, she reappeared, happy, and clad in pajamas. After Friday night's 25-minute pajama show-down, this 7-minute ordeal seemed like a piece of cake.
Today had me a little nervous. This morning was our final weekly preschool at our house. Last week, there was so much screaming from Adrianna that she went time after time to time out. I was anxious to know how to react to her if she started screaming and falling apart like that again. I have not come across anything in the book yet that addresses that type of behavior. Thankfully, her behavior was appropriate and respectful.
For dinner, Scott's parents invited us over to eat with them and some mutual friends who were in town visiting. Again, my nervousness returned. Just a week-and-a-half ago, we had an enormous show-down with Adrianna at their house that started this entire process. I made certain to give Adrianna little bits of food while we waited for dinner to begin. (We know how hard good judgement is when she is hungry!)
I am happy to report that dinner went quite well. Adrianna ate well, sat at the table long enough, and was not disruptive. And then clean-up time came -- another point we've had trouble with at the grandparents' house.
I asked her one time to clean up her craft supplies and put her shoes on. She quickly became distracted by some nearby toys, talking to Grandma, etc. Without any words, I removed the toys, and pointed her back to the crafts. Her grandma helped her get started: "Adrianna, should we put these scissors in this drawer here?" "Oh, yes," Adrianna replied, as she got to work on the craft supplies.
And then we left. No drama. No tears. No whines. Ahhh... Sigh of relief!
And so, if you are wondering if this is our new child by Friday, I am hesitant to conclude so... yet. Since Adrianna has been a toddler, we have noticed that she seems to go in mood cycles. She will listen well and behave kindly for several days in a row, followed by days full of out-bursts. My hope is that we have -- and will continue to -- retrain her well enough that when we get back to her harder days, she will have the skills to work through them with self-control.
Yesterday went quite smoothly. In the morning rush to get out the door, I asked Adrianna to do several things (brush her teeth, get on her shoes, etc.). In the past, those rushed orders were repeated and repeated until we finally got out the door. This time, I think I asked for each task only once, and she did exactly as she was told. When we got in the car and I began driving, I said, "Adrianna, you did such a good job doing all the things I asked you to do." I glanced back at her. She was grinning hugely.
Our day went cooperatively until, of course, dinner time. Adrianna took a bath before dinner. When Scott went in to supervise her cleaning up her tub toys and getting into her pajamas, she started loosing control of herself. From the kitchen, I could hear her screams and protests. Scott was trying to help Adrianna clean up the toys, and she was getting particular about the order she wanted it done. I went to check on them. Scott and I quickly decided to simply leave and start dishing up our dinner.
A naked, dripping little Adrianna came rushing out to catch us in the kitchen. "I want dinner, too!" "Sure. You can eat when you put away your toys and get your pajamas on." (Sounded like a replay of Friday night.) Scott and I sat down to eat. Adrianna, still naked and now getting cold, climbed up into my lap. I allowed her to sit there a minute, without giving her any words. She tried protesting about not wanting to put lotion on before getting dressed (I had left the lotion bottle with her pajamas). "Honey, all I need you to do is clean up the toys and put on your pajamas." (Was I repeating an instruction? Maybe. But I was also trying to let her know she did not need the lotion.)
She seemed to think about that just for a second. Then she skitterred off to the bathroom, and we heard toys clunking away. A few minutes later, she reappeared, happy, and clad in pajamas. After Friday night's 25-minute pajama show-down, this 7-minute ordeal seemed like a piece of cake.
Today had me a little nervous. This morning was our final weekly preschool at our house. Last week, there was so much screaming from Adrianna that she went time after time to time out. I was anxious to know how to react to her if she started screaming and falling apart like that again. I have not come across anything in the book yet that addresses that type of behavior. Thankfully, her behavior was appropriate and respectful.
For dinner, Scott's parents invited us over to eat with them and some mutual friends who were in town visiting. Again, my nervousness returned. Just a week-and-a-half ago, we had an enormous show-down with Adrianna at their house that started this entire process. I made certain to give Adrianna little bits of food while we waited for dinner to begin. (We know how hard good judgement is when she is hungry!)
I am happy to report that dinner went quite well. Adrianna ate well, sat at the table long enough, and was not disruptive. And then clean-up time came -- another point we've had trouble with at the grandparents' house.
I asked her one time to clean up her craft supplies and put her shoes on. She quickly became distracted by some nearby toys, talking to Grandma, etc. Without any words, I removed the toys, and pointed her back to the crafts. Her grandma helped her get started: "Adrianna, should we put these scissors in this drawer here?" "Oh, yes," Adrianna replied, as she got to work on the craft supplies.
And then we left. No drama. No tears. No whines. Ahhh... Sigh of relief!
And so, if you are wondering if this is our new child by Friday, I am hesitant to conclude so... yet. Since Adrianna has been a toddler, we have noticed that she seems to go in mood cycles. She will listen well and behave kindly for several days in a row, followed by days full of out-bursts. My hope is that we have -- and will continue to -- retrain her well enough that when we get back to her harder days, she will have the skills to work through them with self-control.
Comments
Love you so much!! Thank you for being honest and open through this process, you have SO blessed me!
I'm so impressed by your honesty and candor in sharing openly about your struggles. Many will be able to benefit because of your willingness to do this. Keep it going, dearest girl!