The new kid experiment, part 4
As you may have noticed, I did not give my daily "New Kid" update yesterday. I was too frustrated. I think I may have made a mountain out of a molehill (Dr. Leman's words, not mine) with Adrianna yesterday. And so parenting lessons continue! Good thing we're not expected to be perfect.
Today, Adrianna fared very well. I worked on asking for things only once, and I think she was working on listening the first time.
Our issues seem to arise when she is getting tired and hungry, late afternoon or early evening. At play group, she had some frustration with the young boys who were trying to play with the same things she was. I debated about removing her from the situation (leaving early) or removing a privilege. In the end, I decided that she calmed herself down effectively and problem-solved by simply finding her own space. I know the issue of sharing with little boys (especially a certain little brother) is going to continue coming up for us. I tried giving her a tip on how to divert little hands from taking all her things: offer them one of your toys first. We'll see if she will listen (or if it will help!).
A once-weekly treat for Adrianna is getting to watch TV while we eat dinner. Tonight was the special night, and during the middle of Adrianna's show, she decided that she wanted to change to pajamas. Since she was going to do so soon anyway, we allowed her to change before returning to finish dinner and the show. Several minutes later, she came out with "popsicles" for Scott and me (one of her toys that she pretends with). We said, "Yum. Now finish what you started, please." She came back out a few minutes later with more, "popsicles." By then, Scott and I decided that she should not be allowed to finish her show. She was not listening or following through with what she said she should do. Ten minutes later, she finally returned with pajamas on, and the TV was off. She was confused and cried about how she needed to finish her show. We briefly explained the problem and why she lost the show.
Later, she was trying to put some clothes away in her closet when Scott came to help her. She was trying to be independent by climbing on a chair to reach the higher shelves. This made Scott nervous, so he stepped in. She screamed at him about how she was trying to do it herself. After she finished, it was time to read bedtime stories. I told her that before we could do so, she needed to tell Dad something first. "Sorry?" she asked. "Yes."
"Dad, I'm sorry." "Thank you, Adrianna. Will you tell me why you are sorry?" "I don't know! Mommy tell me why I'm sorry!" After further frustration and explanation and refusing to say why she was sorry, I put aside her Clifford book. She knew that meant that she lost her story time. She was very frustrated. I gave a brief explanation about how she's been missing out on things because she has not been doing what she needs to do.
We read her Bible story, and thankfully, we were able to show her love and acceptance before she headed to bed. I think that is the most important part for us. If Adrianna just feels she is in trouble all the time, we are not going to be making any progress.
Are we making any progress? I hope so! I don't know if we can tell yet. Our two main goals for now are trying to break her habit of whining and trying to retrain her to listen the first time. I think time will show us if we have been successful!
Today, Adrianna fared very well. I worked on asking for things only once, and I think she was working on listening the first time.
Our issues seem to arise when she is getting tired and hungry, late afternoon or early evening. At play group, she had some frustration with the young boys who were trying to play with the same things she was. I debated about removing her from the situation (leaving early) or removing a privilege. In the end, I decided that she calmed herself down effectively and problem-solved by simply finding her own space. I know the issue of sharing with little boys (especially a certain little brother) is going to continue coming up for us. I tried giving her a tip on how to divert little hands from taking all her things: offer them one of your toys first. We'll see if she will listen (or if it will help!).
A once-weekly treat for Adrianna is getting to watch TV while we eat dinner. Tonight was the special night, and during the middle of Adrianna's show, she decided that she wanted to change to pajamas. Since she was going to do so soon anyway, we allowed her to change before returning to finish dinner and the show. Several minutes later, she came out with "popsicles" for Scott and me (one of her toys that she pretends with). We said, "Yum. Now finish what you started, please." She came back out a few minutes later with more, "popsicles." By then, Scott and I decided that she should not be allowed to finish her show. She was not listening or following through with what she said she should do. Ten minutes later, she finally returned with pajamas on, and the TV was off. She was confused and cried about how she needed to finish her show. We briefly explained the problem and why she lost the show.
Later, she was trying to put some clothes away in her closet when Scott came to help her. She was trying to be independent by climbing on a chair to reach the higher shelves. This made Scott nervous, so he stepped in. She screamed at him about how she was trying to do it herself. After she finished, it was time to read bedtime stories. I told her that before we could do so, she needed to tell Dad something first. "Sorry?" she asked. "Yes."
"Dad, I'm sorry." "Thank you, Adrianna. Will you tell me why you are sorry?" "I don't know! Mommy tell me why I'm sorry!" After further frustration and explanation and refusing to say why she was sorry, I put aside her Clifford book. She knew that meant that she lost her story time. She was very frustrated. I gave a brief explanation about how she's been missing out on things because she has not been doing what she needs to do.
We read her Bible story, and thankfully, we were able to show her love and acceptance before she headed to bed. I think that is the most important part for us. If Adrianna just feels she is in trouble all the time, we are not going to be making any progress.
Are we making any progress? I hope so! I don't know if we can tell yet. Our two main goals for now are trying to break her habit of whining and trying to retrain her to listen the first time. I think time will show us if we have been successful!
Comments