Temptation to discouragement

I've never thought of discouragement as a temptation... until today... when the third attempt at discouragement in the last few weeks came. Looking back on it, every time, I could almost hear Discouragement saying, "If I show you this example of how someone brought home their adopted child sooner than you did, won't you be discouraged?"

And today, Discouragement tried one big blow. Through reading a blog from a friend of a friend, I learned how a family who started their adoption journey with Ethiopia at almost the exact same time we did brought home their child in June. And here we look at possibly another 8-9 months before we bring our child home. Discouragement said, "Will that hit close enough to home?! Won't you be discouraged now?!"

Well, it did. I won't deny that I cried. I won't deny that I climbed up into God's lap to tell Him how sad I was. But, oh, He is so good. He is so much more gracious to me than I could imagine.

God so blessed me, that He gave me the assurance that if we are waiting this long... only HE is in control. We will be able to tell the story of how HE brought us HIS perfect child for us as only HE could. He is giving us another opportunity to tell of HIS goodness. We may never know why we have to wait so long, but He assured me HE wants to do all things HIS way for HIS glory.

And the sweet hymn filled my heart:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Comments

The Chesnut's said…
Amen Sister!!! I have never been in your shoes through adoption, but I have with the wait and wait and wait of a child..5yrs.. so I know how discouraging it can be. In my case it was hearing time after time again about others expecting and wondering why not me. As I went through this journey I looked at my situation and felt God was saying instead of focusing on the discouragment, focus on what God may be trying to teach me through this... drawing me closer and closer to Him. In my situation I feel, God was molding my heart to be the mother he desired for me to be. And when the time came to celebrate Will's birth... my... how much there was to celebrate. I could see his loving hand and goodness through it all. Only HE could make it happen the way it did and EVERYTHING that HAPPENED (even the miscarriages) He used to turn my eyes and heart to Him.
I know my situation is different, but I feel your pain.. I am sorry and I wish I could hug you, but know you are in my prayers. God has something WONDERFUL instore and I can't wait to see what it is!!
Oh Sister, I am praying for peace. A peace that only He can provide in circumstances like this. Even when it goes against all reason and logic. Peace as He leads you beside quiet waters and restores your soul.

I echo the Chestnut's comment about the wait. For us the difference was that it was several months after a miscarriage, not years, but the wait seemed almost unbearable sometimes. And peace was hard to come by. But, as with the Chestnuts, I know that God was shaping and molding me too during those HARD times with so much up in the air.

God's timing is never early and never late, and always perfect.

I love you dearly and wish I could give you a huge hug!

Hang in there! You are a shining example for so many as you do come to the Father and cast all your cares upon Him.
Amber Weiseth said…
I am so sorry you have to wait longer. I am especially sorry to discourage you although I know it isn't personal. I also felt discouraged in the waiting stage and hopeless when we didn't pass court. It is hard to be so completely out of control. I do believe God has chosen a specific child for you and I look forward to seeing who it is. Believe it or not, but after you bring home your child it is but a distant memory. Glad you are reaching out to Jesus!

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