Completion and Frustration



The good news: The new kids' room is complete!! The bad news: I've been feeling so crummy that I haven't been able to pull it together like I want to. I'll put one photo up so that all the hard work of the wainscoting can be appreciated. But I'll wait until I can do the finishing touches before posting before/after pictures.


Last Friday, I started feeling yicky, only to realize that I was plagued with a fever (accompanied with body aches). As of yesterday, I still had the fever and the aches. Since I went through this in February as well, I'm ready to be done with fevers!

I'm ashamed to say that yesterday was a very low moment in my three-and-a-half years as a mother. I felt so worn out and achy that I wasn't any fun to be around. And Adrianna let me know that, too. She used bossy words to me all morning. "Mom, carry me now... Mom, you need to go get that." That was hardly okay with me! But she started reacting to how I was acting, and both of our ugly sides reared their heads. My ugliest moment was when I sliced my shoulder on her dresser after wiping up her potty mess on her carpet. I just started sobbing, shaking with pain and frustration. I tried to pull myself together to take her to the bathroom. She looked me in the eye and said, "Mom, stop crying!!" Not quite the sympathy I was looking for. As a rule, I don't believe in spanking, but I spanked her. And we had a discussion after that, believe me!

Boy, did I pray last night and this morning. I did not want a repeat of yesterday, for either of us. Today, she hasn't even tried being "Miss Bossy" and I have tried very hard not to be a kill-joy. And, as I type, I think she might even been taking a nap (first one this week).

God's grace is sufficient even for me -- Thank You, God!

Comments

Bloom Where You Are Planted said…
Oh, Sweet Sister! We've ALL been there! You are human, we all are. You handled it beautifully after when you talked with her about it...believe me, God can use those "mommy moments" to teach powerful lessons to our kids and ourselves.

Grace. You need to really offer it to yourself, the TAKE it. Then, forgiveness needs to follow.

We just completed the book, "She's Gonna Blow" with a women's group at church. What we all learned from it was that we ALL struggle with the pressures of mommyhood. We WILL make mistakes with our kids.

What matters most is what we do with the mistakes afterwards.

I am amazed that this is your first mommy moment like this! I've had so many. You are not alone.

You are not a bad mom and not even close to one. Just human.
April 2, 2009 at 3:18 PM
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